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Now when I think back on Paul, I know I made the right decision, before and after our final date. I wondered if there was something to the idea that sleeping with a guy too soon was the surest route to a relationship that never really happened. In my own experience, dates tend to go much more smoothly once we've confirmed our physical connection. Even if a guy likes my personality as I'm pretty sure Paul did , if we don't fit together like puzzle pieces in bed, my character probably won't get him to stick around to see the full picture. Is that true, you always kind of knew? What will the sex be like?
It's just that I'm pretty sure it doesn't work for me. My experience has been if you hold off on sex for a few dates or even a few months, when you get to it the chemistry is still either on or off, and if it's off you have a relationship that doesn't work. It was probably, I think it was like five years ago. Will he be big enough? Once we've seen each other without any clothes on, we can cuddle and have the easy, natural banter that comes when you exit the awkward stage. Sex is a big deal for gay men, for most men. I'd like to have it with you, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen, so I have to ask you about Holly and Gail. But they should lose the illusion that happily ever after is more likely, or that those pesky little voices inside their heads Are we going to score? Because it creates all these different layers for my character. Now when I think back on Paul, I know I made the right decision, before and after our final date. I concurred completely, not because I have anything against the three-date rule, which is generally implemented by women in straight relationships, nor for any doubt that it can work for gay men. But if Paul and I were to happen today, things would probably play out differently. If a couple decides that they'd rather wait and face the risks behind door No. It wasn't like I hadn't told him about my new abstinence plan when we met. That was not a gay choice on our end. As I stood there at 11 p. But it's easier for me to get to know a potential paramour once we've pushed the big old elephant out of the room. And if it is, why did you think that? With one exception by far the most disastrous of all my relationships , I slept with every guy who became my boyfriend on or before our first date. I'm neither perpetually horny nor addicted to sex. If he was only after sex, I'll know soon enough. But if I'm ever fortunate enough to enjoy another fantastic first date where lust is the drug we're both thinking of, I probably won't do what I did years ago with Paul. I really loved that relationship. This realization came to me during a conversation with my Facebook friend Gavin, who made an interesting comment regarding sex on the first date: But as Gavin said, by waiting, you run the risk of investing a lot of time into something that fails anyway for lack of chemistry.
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