If you still want to know what is it about you that makes you a magnet to a narcissist then read this. The sex becomes our connection — the only connection — between us and the narcissist that feels anything like love at all. Then, he would start to withdraw. Only on one condition. Your ex might have even blamed you for pushing him to cheat. She thought she was going crazy Her narcissist ex-husband manipulated her by constantly breaking up with her and disappearing for several months.
They sometimes withhold sex intentionally, as a punishment, maybe simultaneously giving you the silent treatment, until you can't stand it anymore and apologize for whatever they've accused you of, give in to a demand they've made, or whatever the case may be. At some point during our relationship and probably the first time he cheated , my ex discovered his Ace in the Hole. Often, once a narcissist is sure that you are fully invested in them and the relationship, sexual intercourse tapers off. They use sex as a way to get attention, validation, and admiration. They need to feel special; they want you to put them on a pedestal. It explains why they become so advanced at charm and charisma. As stated above, having many partners to choose from also makes them feel that they are in high demand. Our love was indeed a lie. Maybe you're someone who happens to be incredibly physically attractive, extremely wealthy, or hold a position of power at your place of employment. He will still cheat on you with anyone and everyone, he will still be fascinated with weirder than weird porn, and he will still create profiles on dating sites. She thought she was going crazy Her narcissist ex-husband manipulated her by constantly breaking up with her and disappearing for several months. Now, there are other types of narcissists who use the withholding of sex to get what they want from a victim partner. One day when Jessica was pregnant with their second baby, she noticed some bleeding. They want to use you. Your own needs are dismissed or ignored. Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, seduction flirting , gifts, dinners, get-aways, etc. Excessive Focus on Performance and Approval Pathological narcissists often have an inflated sense of themselves. Flirting, amazing flower bouquets, expensive Champagne, luxury cars, gifts, dinners, VIP vacations, etc. The enthusiastic, acrobatic, anything-goes romps were as much a tool, to hook you and reel you in, as their loving words and adulation were. They crave approval, are highly sensitive to criticism, and may try very hard to perform in bed. Passive-Aggression — The cold shoulder. How sad is that? This abandonment often comes a surprise for many women who I work with. He also uses flattery to make you feel special, understood and listened. So, if you were having intense, frequent romps with your narc in the beginning, but things rapidly cooled off, this may be what happened.
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