An irrelationship is designed to defend against exactly this kind of shared, thrilling experience of and with another person—including what we share in the throes of passion! The new piece that emerged as they worked in therapy together, however, was that they became able to see that their Performer and Audience roles actually prevented connection between them, leaving both of them feeling isolated and lonely. After a year of battling it out and hitting an almost blood-curdling bottom, they were surprised to find that they actually missed each other! This, however, was far from the truth. Please seek the advice of professionals, as appropriate, regarding the evaluation of any specific information, opinion, advice or other content. She could handle all the intensity I could bring her. That kind of intimacy, however, doesn't show itself only in erotic connection.
In this disturbed and disturbing environment, Mai, too, learned to play the role of Audience. Vicky had survived significant neglect throughout her childhood. The bottom line of this ruse for Mai was that it left her feeling and believing that she was unloveable. Other girls never really let go. The survival technique she developed while she was growing up was to manage her environment by making—or allowing—her parents to believe that they were good parents, that the parenting they provided for her met her needs. However, mastering that role as a child made Vicky the perfect Audience for Glen's performance of his dysfunctional song-and-dance routines. She would also have them in the checkout line. Both Glen and Mai had done enough work in therapy on their relationship histories to see that each of them individually, and together as a couple, were repeating their familiar patterns. This just might be one of the best parts about exploring irrelationships: The new piece that emerged as they worked in therapy together, however, was that they became able to see that their Performer and Audience roles actually prevented connection between them, leaving both of them feeling isolated and lonely. Though Mai grew up in Japan, her childhood experience was not profoundly dissimilar to Vicky's. That girl was number one, but numbers two and three were similar. She wore no panties in public, and I dressed her up in short skirted maids outfits with a leather dog collar. Believing that by becoming a caretaker of others she might find peace, Mai became a psychiatric social worker. Spontaneous orgasms while giving head, dressing up in costumes for going out, outrageous public displays, intense sexual power and stamina. At an emotional bottom, she reached out to her parents. The permeable connection with another person which shows itself in sexual connection, is seen also in a broad repertory of love-language developed between partners1. A real celebration of passion. She could handle all the intensity I could bring her. This language of love is both cause and result of overcoming the barriers we put between ourselves and others. A full flow of energy never rises up to their heads and through their arms and out in a glow around their body and into their lovers bodies. While this choice did lessen some of the immediacy of her threat to herself, Mai was forced to realize that "no matter where I go, there I am. Why are you so intense? Learning to pull apart those barriers to caring for another is vital to becoming able to allow and to experience such unimaginable connection. She created complicated routines designed to convince her parents, that she was "all right" and didn't really need much from them.
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