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But despite the blunt belief infidelity is the result of immoral and over-sexed individuals wanting their cake and eating it too, the reality is far more nuanced. However, this rate increases to around a third of couples when you include emotional infidelity. So a couple should seek professional help to deal with the aftermaths of an affair, not only to possibly heal their relationship but also for their own psychological well-being. In some cases it may be the right decision to end the relationship. We all want the same things in a partner, but why? So, the straying partner views an alternative relationship as a better way to meet these needs than their existing relationship.
Those low on these measures appear more likely to have an affair. Both partners can experience mental health issues following the revelation of an affair. Research has found that, when the affair is revealed, both partners can experience mental health issues including anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide. For instance, infidelity is rarely just about sex. We believe a romantic partner is there to provide us with love, comfort and security. One of the most well researched methods of helping a couple mend these issues involves addressing the initial impact of the affair, developing a shared understanding of the context of the affair, forgiveness, and moving on. But if therapy works for two thirds of couples, it leaves another one third who experience no improvement. Some find people who lack traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness are more likely to be sexually promiscuous, as are those higher in neurotic and narcissistic traits. But the secret only perpetuates the betrayal. However, this rate increases to around a third of couples when you include emotional infidelity. The period of separation distress varies from person to person. Who has affairs, and why? Ultimately, relationships serve the function of meeting our attachment needs of love, comfort and security. Both men and women cheat. But they also report infidelity as one of the most difficult issues to work with when it comes to rebuilding a relationship. So a couple should seek professional help to deal with the aftermaths of an affair, not only to possibly heal their relationship but also for their own psychological well-being. Infidelity highlights the potential fragility of our closest and most important of relationships. Recent work suggests one of the biggest predictors of having an affair is having strayed before. If the couple decides to end the relationship and are still in therapy, the therapist can help them work through their decision in a way that minimises feelings of hurt. Choosing to stay or go Overall, therapy seems to work for about two-thirds of couples who have experienced infidelity. If one is serious about mending their existing relationship, then disclosure is necessary, along with seeking professional guidance to support the couple through the turbulent period towards recovery. Then the betrayed partner can be progressively exposed to situations that provide further reassurance they can trust their partner without having to constantly check on them. So people are quick to make judgements and lay blame on perpetrators of what they see as a significant violation of relationship norms and betrayal of trust. Not only do we grieve the loss of the relationship no matter how good or bad , but we grieve over whether we will find another who will fulfil our needs. If a couple decides to stay together, they must identify areas of improvement and commit to working on them. If the relationship is characterised by many unresolved conflicts, hostility, and a lack of concern for one another, it may be best to end it. There can also be an increase in emotional and physical violence within the couple.
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